


Dress to Impress

by angelsandbrowncoats



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Crass language, Ed being a sparkly boy, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Glitter, Hurt/Comfort, Lots of glitter, M/M, Oswald being his doting boyfriend, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Valentine's Day, doesn't come close to happening don't worry, not that much angst though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 13:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13682958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsandbrowncoats/pseuds/angelsandbrowncoats
Summary: Some Valentine's Day fluff about what Edward gets Oswald and how Oswald tries to one-up his gift.>>A direct sequel to 'Glisten and Glitter', the 8th fic in my Advent Calendar





	Dress to Impress

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentine's Day, y'all!

7:01 p.m.

 

Oswald tapped his foot – once, twice, thr – no. He wasn’t going to do this. Edward was only one minute late. And while his boyfriend of nearly a month was usual _very_ punctual, it wouldn’t be the first time he had been held up at work by a particularly fascinating case. Oswald could be patient. He could wait.

 

He had to say, he was relatively surprised when Edward had invited him out, especially once he solved the riddle and figured out _where_. In their past weeks of rendezvous, Oswald had been the one to invite Edward each time. Hell, it had taken some effort on Oswald’s part to get the other man to stop referring to him as ‘Mr. Penguin,’ despite the fact that they were on an actual, genuine date. So receiving the riddle about a dinner at a restaurant as shady as this one – located in a rather unsavory pocket of the city – took him by surprise.

 

He glanced at his watch again. 7:08. Shouldn’t Edward have at least _texted_ by -

 

“Well, well, well – if it isn’t the Penguin himself. I haven’t seen you since you got outed as a snitch! Heard you’ve been doing well for yourself as Falcone’s newest lapdog,” a tall, greasy-looking man in a dark jacket swung himself into the chair opposite Oswald. He grimaced, recognizing him as one of Maroni’s higher-ranking henchmen.

 

“A little too well for a rat-bastard traitor like you should, don’tcha think?” the man was smirking at him as he carefully shifted his jacket to reveal an array of knives and guns within easy reach.

 

“What do you want?” Oswald spat, “I’m busy.”

 

“Oh?” the man looked around comically, eyes wide, “See, to _me_ , you looked a bit… _lonely_. Date stand you up?”

 

“My private life is none of your business. It would serve _you_ well to stay out of it.”

 

“Ooh, did I touch a sore spot? My bad, my bad,” the man held his hands up as he laughed, “We’ve all been there.”

 

“What. Do. You. Want,” Oswald repeated himself.

 

The man across from him laughed again, “Absolutely nothing!”

 

“What?”

 

“I just wanted to buy my fellas a little time to nab your boy toy on his way in without you noticing. The boss has a few questions to ask him. No hard feelings.”

 

The man was already on his feet by the time his meaning registered. Oswald leapt to his feet and grabbed a steak knife out of the hands of a nearby diner, slamming it through the man’s hand into the door as he nearly made his escape. He whipped the man around, tugging him so that the knife dislodged, and he dropped to his knees before Oswald backhanded him with everything he had.

 

“LEAVE. HIM. OUT OF THIS!”

 

“Hey, hey, I was just following or – “ the man pleaded, cut off as Oswald struck him again.

 

“Tell me where he is, and I will let you go,” Oswald stated quietly but with steel.

 

“Alright, alright! I don’t know for sure, but he’s in one of Maroni’s warehouses. Probably one for alcohol smuggling.”

 

“Thank you,” Oswald replied neatly, punctuating his statement with a clean sweep of his pocket knife across the man’s throat, “Trust me when I say this is the most merciful outcome you could possibly have gotten. Any of your ‘fellows’ who laid a hand on Edward will fare far worse.”

 

The man just gaped at him, blood gushing from the gap in his neck, until his eyes glazed over and he slumped to the ground. The other diners were staring at him, but he ignored them as he picked up the knife and handed it to a nearby server who didn’t look nearly as surprised as one might expect.

 

“Sorry about the mess. Have a thousand for the cleanup,” he turned to the diner whose knife he’d taken, “My apologies for the interruption.”

 

With that, he took his leave of the place. He had to work quickly to find Edward. Who knew what the Italians wanted from him, or how far they would go to take it. What Oswald _did_ know, was that Edward did not seem to be the type of person to hold well under torture. It was one of the things that had first attracted Oswald about him. His glittering monstrosity of a suit was a clear façade, a defensive barrier around a fragile interior. When he had first asked Edward on a date, he had flirted most of the night with the prospect of breaking him for his own entertainment. But in the end, his greed had won out. Edward was like a beautiful crystal figurine, precious, rare, and easily damaged. And he was all but giving himself to Oswald. So, as enjoyable as breaking him might have been, _keeping_ him was even more so.

 

Which of course meant it was his responsibility to keep Edward safe from any vengeful gangsters that might come his way…

 

Oswald called his driver and double-checked his weapons.

 

~         ~         ~

 

“So, what can you tell us about the Penguin’s plans, babe?” one of the three men who had kidnapped him asked, leering far too close for Edward to be comfortable.

 

“You smell bad,” he answered, and threw a handful of glitter in the man’s grizzled face. The goon coughed and spluttered as hundreds of sparkles were inadvertently sucked down his windpipe and he stumbled backwards. One of his cronies took his place, keeping a safer distance as he pointed a gun at Edward’s forehead.

 

“How the fuck did you get out of the restraints?” he demanded, shoving the barrel against his temple for emphasis.

 

Edward scoffed, “You call that shoddy work ‘restraints’? Even an amateur kidnapper would be embarrassed.”

 

“Listen, bitch,” the now-glittery thug growled, much less intimidating as he sparkled in the dim lighting, “Penguin may have promised you protection for sucking his dick, but Penguin doesn’t own this city. We do. Now we’re being nice. We’re letting you _give_ us what we want. But if you don’t mind your manners, we’re going to have to teach you a lesson, and then we’re going to take what we want anyways. So. What’ll it be?”

 

“How exactly do you expect to ‘teach me a lesson’ when I’m so much smarter than you, hmm? It just doesn’t seem plausi – “ he broke off with a fist to his jaw, knocking his glasses slightly further down his nose and pushing him back slightly. While he was disoriented, he felt the third man grabbing both his wrists and pulling them behind his back, felt cool metal against his skin, heard the click of handcuffs…

 

“How’s that for a lesson, hmm?” the man mocked him, laughing as Edward struggled against the chair, “I dunno all your fancy words, but I do know discipline. And you’re in for the worst hiding of your pathetic little life.”

 

“Oh I highly doubt that,” Edward replied, tone bored, as he poured a vial of glitter over the second man’s gun.

 

“Really? Because a pretty little thing like you doesn’t strike me as someone who has – Hey! What the - !” the man peered at his now sparkly weapon before looking back at Edward’s innocent smile.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Where the fuck are the fucking handcuffs?” he directed his question at the third man, who was still standing behind their hostage. The man looked around dumbly before reaching out to grab Edward’s wrists, only to find his own locked together.

 

“How the _fuck_?!”

 

Edward continued to smile serenely, blinking intermittently as the thugs began to run around like headless chickens. He tapped his fingers on the arm of the chair and began to whistle as he found himself growing bored.

 

“Alright, alright, what have you got?”

 

“Duct tape.”

 

“Okay, gimme.”

 

Edward sighed as his arms were yanked behind his body once more, wrists wrapped in uncomfortably sticky tape.

 

“Really? Duct tape? Oh, the levels of _sophistication_. Color me impressed.”

 

“Shut it, nerd,” the first man was in front of him again, this time with a rusty, serrated knife in hand.

 

Edward scoffed.

 

“ _What?_ ”

 

“It’s just… really? That’s so – so – so _inefficient!_ ” he sighed, “Are you really so grossly underpaid, you can’t afford even _mediocre_ tools? Is your boss poor or just greedy?”

 

The man drove a fist into his gut and he left out a soft groan. That hurt, but he’d had worse, so he forced a smile onto his face and said, “Well? Are you just going to keep dodging the question or will you generate vertebrae and answer me, hmm?”

 

“General verti-what?”

 

“Generate vertebrae,” Edward repeated with faux patience, “You know, grow a spine?”

 

Alright, he really should have expected that slap.

 

“Listen here, boy. I can think of two uses for your mouth. The first one is telling me what plans your boyfriend’s making. The second is a hell of a lot more fun. So you better hurry up with the first before I decide I’m bored and – “

 

“Actually,” Edward interrupted, “I can think of a third.”

 

He promptly held a palmful of glitter up to his lips and blew it straight into the man’s eyes. He shrieked in a very undignified manner.

 

“Where does he keep _getting_ that?!”

 

“More importantly, where’s the duct tape?!”

 

“It’s right here, don’t worry,” Edward grinned, holding up a piece of the silver material, ever so carefully folded into an origami penguin, “I think it would make a nice Valentine’s gift for Oswald, don’t you?”

 

“What the fuck are you on about?”

 

Edward sighed and checked his watch, “Well, it’s just past one a.m. Happy Valentine’s Day!”

 

“It’s what?”

 

“Aw, don’t you have a valentine? That sucks. Maybe next year!” Edward patted the goon on the shoulder, “But hey, you can still spoil yourself with chocolate – if Maroni’s paying you enough money to do so, that is.”

 

“What?”

 

“Good heavens, you really _are_ a robot, aren’t you?”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“You’re great at what you do, but all you’ve been programmed to do is punch! You don’t even have the brains to register basic insults. How _did_ you fare before you were set up with this little gig?”

 

The thugs were all looking at each other by this point, unsure as to why – or _how_ – their hostage was now pacing the room, circling them, glitter flashing with his every step as he inspected them. He paused to lean against a desk on one side of the room and asked, “Well? Are you too ill-equipped to answer the simplest inquiry into your past? I’m merely concerned for your well-being, you know.”

 

“Do you understand what he’s saying?” Glitter-gun asked his companions. They both shook their heads. Handcuffs was still working out how to free himself and the seeming ‘Leader’ was rumbling like an angry animal building up an attack.

 

Edward crossed his arms and sighed, “You see, I _hate_ to see people miserable their whole lives. You don’t strike me as very happy now, so I’m hoping you enjoyed your past, since your futures _are_ rather short.”

 

That, at least, registered with Glitter-gun.

 

“Are you threatening us?” he stepped forward, grabbing Edward and shoving him back into the chair, gun pressed against his skull once more, “Do you know who we are?”

 

“Mmm,” Edward hummed dismissively, “I think you’ll find what’s more important is: do _you_ know who is right behind you?”

 

“You can’t play games with me, freak! I’m not an idi - !” he slumped forward, words trailing off, as the very tip of a wicked blade protruded from his chest. His body collapsed on top of Edward, who hissed in discomfort before it was hauled off him to reveal none other than the Penguin himself. He wasn’t watching what happened to the other two, but by the sounds, they were dying equally unpleasant deaths. Edward was too engrossed in his boyfriend to bother paying attention to the specifics.

 

“Ed! Ed, are you alright?” Oswald’s hands were all over Edward – his face, his sides, his arms – searching for wounds or other signs of trauma. Edward hissed again when Oswald touched the purpling part of his face where he’d been struck.

 

“I’m so sorry, Ed, darling, how bad is it? Do you need a hospital? Do you - ?”

 

“Shh,” Edward reached up to hold Oswald’s hands in his, stilling their frantic movement, “Shh, Oz, Oswald – I’m fine. I’m okay.”

 

“What do you need?”

 

“Take – take me home. Please?”

 

“Can you stand?”

 

Edward nodded, feeling the weight of exhaustion now that his bravado had worn off. He and Oswald supported each other, the emotions of both still running high as they made their way out of the room and into Oswald’s waiting car.

 

“I’m so sorry, Ed,” Oswald repeated when they were at last settled in the back and on their way, “This should never have happened to you. This is all my fault. I should have kept a closer eye on you.”

 

Edward shook his head, leaning against Oswald’s shoulder, “No. I invited _you_ to that place. I knew it was Maroni’s territory. I was prepared.”

 

“Obviously not prepared enough!” Oswald glanced down at him, “What if I hadn’t gotten their quick enough?”

 

“I knew exactly how long it would take you. I even calculated in some extra time for unexpected developments. It was all under control.”

 

“Wait,” Oswald frowned at these words. They almost implied – but no, Edward wasn’t _that_ stupid, was he?

 

“Do you mean to say… you _planned_ to get captured?”

 

“I…” Edward bit his lip and tried again, “I am filled with information that you cannot see. Put me in the right hole for that data to free. What am I?”

 

Oswald bit back a sigh at the riddle in such a serious situation and concentrated on his answer. He frowned at what he came up with.

 

“Ed – are you, are you propositioning me? At a time like this?”

 

“What? No, I,” Edward spluttered when the unintentional innuendo clicked, “This.”

 

Oswald furrowed his brow and glanced over to find something small and plastic shoved in his face. He moved back slightly to get a better look at it.

 

“A – a flash drive?”

 

Edward nodded.

 

“What’s this?”

 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Oswald,” Edward mumbled, still holding out the device, “It’s a present for you.”

 

Oswald hesitantly accepted the gift, and asked, “I’m still confused. What does this have to do with you putting yourself in danger?”

 

“I hacked into the security system,” Edward replied, “And from there I manipulated any other files I could find. All of Maroni’s cyber information is on that drive.”

 

Oswald felt himself tearing up as he looked at the tiny piece of plastic. He tucked it into the pocket of his suit jacket and returned his attention to his boyfriend.

 

“You got yourself captured so you could give me this?”

 

“I,” Edward looked down, “I wasn’t sure what you would want. You’ve got more money, more power, more everything than I have. What could I possibly give you that you couldn’t already have?”

 

Oswald wrapped his hands behind Edward’s head and pulled him in for a bruising kiss, thoroughly restating his claim on him before he eased the pressure, transitioning from aggressive to tender in the span of four heartbeats. He broke the kiss with another light peck to Edward’s lips before settling back into their prior positions.

 

“You know you’re a pretty nice prize on your own, but then I remember just how clever you are, and I’m that much more impressed. Thank you so much, my dear,” Oswald let his arm rest across Edward’s shoulders, thumb stroking over his collarbone.

 

“There is one _slight_ problem, though,” he continued, smiling when he felt Edward tense beneath him, but he wasn’t feeling sadistic enough to leave him in suspense, “How am I supposed to top this for _my_ gift to you? Chocolates just aren’t going to cut it anymore!”

 

Edward blushed from the tips of his ears down to where his neck disappeared into his shirt collar, and he muttered, “I – That’s really not necessary, Oswald. I just wanted to do something nice for you.”

 

“And I want to do something nice back,” Oswald replied firmly, “You’ve been nothing but a gift that keeps on giving to me. Let me show my appreciation. What can I possibly do for you?”

 

Edward twisted his fingers together, worrying his lower lip as he gazed out into the dark stillness of pre-morning.

 

“Come on, love, tell me. No request is too much, not for you.”

 

“Could you – I don’t know why you would, but – would you be my date to the GCPD Valentine’s Ball tonight?”

 

Oswald blinked, “You – you want to be seen with me publicly? By the police, no less?”

 

Edward nodded, “My colleagues, they – they don’t believe that I have, well, anyone. They keep laughing at me about it. We – we’re basically public anyways, so I told them I was dating you, and – and they laughed in my face! I wasn’t lying!”

 

“I know you weren’t, Ed,” Oswald soothed, stroking over his arm again, “Your coworkers’ opinions really mean that much to you?”

 

“I just want to prove myself…”

 

“I’ll do it, but on one condition,” Oswald said when it was apparent Edward would say no more.

 

“What’s that?”

 

“We aren’t going to stay. I’m not going to spend our first Valentine’s Day surrounded by a bunch of sweaty, useless cops. You go to the dance, and I’ll make an appearance to pick you up and spoil you. How’s that?”

 

“You don’t have to - ,” Edward began, but Oswald cut him off with another gentle kiss, “Shh. You want to prove to all those idiots that you’re worth something? That you’re worth more than them? Well, I’m going to do that. Let them laugh when you’re on the arm of the most notorious man in Gotham. Let them laugh when he gives you all the luxuries you deserve. How does that sound?”

 

“Nice,” Edward sighed, leaning into his embrace, his body, “That sounds nice.”

 

“Then so shall it happen,” Oswald assured him, “Now let’s get you home for a nap before you have to get ready for work, hmm?”

 

Edward nodded against him, too tired for more words.

 

~         ~         ~

 

“Hey Nygma, alone again this year?” one of the officers clapped him on the back as he passed, making Edward nearly jump out of his skin.

 

“Yeah,” said the guy’s buddy, “I thought you said you’d found somebody?”

 

“I have, thank you very much,” Edward replied haughtily, stepping away from them. The first one looked around comically before asking, “I don’t see anyone. You aren’t dating the Invisible Man, are you?”

 

His friend laughed loudly at that and shook his head, “Nah, he said he was dating the _Penguin_. Keep dreaming, Nygma. It’s cute.”

 

Edward pursed his lips and kept walking. They’d see. They’d all see.

 

“Mr. Nygma?” he paused at this voice voluntarily, turning to see Miss Kringle, arm unfortunately curled around that brute, Dougherty.

 

“Miss Kringle? What can I do for you?”

 

“Well,” she began, but was almost immediately cut off by Dougherty, “We saw you looking a bit lonely and wondered how you were holding up.”

 

Kristen nodded, looking slightly put off by the interruption.

 

“Thank you, Officer Dougherty, but I’m fine,” Edward answered shortly, “My date isn’t exactly… _comfortable_ in this environment, so he agreed to pick me up from the ball to spend some time together. Privately.”

 

“I’m sure, I’m sure,” Dougherty nodded, as if indulging him, “Don’t worry, riddle-man. I’m sure you’ll find the right girl someday.”

 

Edward opened his mouth to retort, when he was distracted by a tapping on his shoulder. Truly, he found himself receiving far more attention with this new look than he had in all the years of his life combined.

 

“Ed?”

 

He actually smiled this time, turning to say, “Lee? How can I help you?”

 

“You might want to brace yourself.”

 

Edward frowned, “What for?”

 

“An honest-to-god ‘one horse open sleigh’ just pulled up in front of the hall, and I think you can guess whose it is.”

 

Edward felt his eyes widen and just barely kept his jaw from dropping. Oswald was picking him up in a _sleigh?_

 

He had no more time to ponder this fact as the doors to the hall were thrown open. Like some sort of magic spell, a hush fell over the hall as everyone stopped to watch the Penguin. Edward felt his heart flutter at the way his boyfriend commanded the room. He was magnificent.

 

Click.

 

Click.

 

Click.

 

The Penguin strode forward, cane striking the hard floor with a sharp noise, until he stopped at the very top of the stairs leading to the main gathering area.

 

Nobody so much as breathed.

 

Oswald cleared his throat.

 

“Excuse me,” he began, looking around with disinterest, “But could any of you tell me where I might find an Edward Nygma?”

 

Hushed whispers erupted, echoing around the hall as Edward smiled and broke away from the crowd, suit sparkling with each step. Oswald gave his own smile as he caught sight of him, catching his hand when he was in range and bringing it up to his lips with a bow.

 

The whispers ceased abruptly as everyone watched in shocked silence as the Penguin led away their best forensic scientist, helping him into the sleigh that was stationed directly in front of the doors.

 

For his part, Edward was enjoying himself immensely. He could feel the eyes of everyone in the hall on him and knew that included all those who had mocked him. He gladly accepted Oswald’s hand as he clambered up into the sleigh, allowing himself to be pulled against Oswald’s side in an embrace as they got settled. Oswald didn’t instruct the driver to move immediately, and Edward turned to him, prepared to ask what was wrong, only to be met with a chocolate at his lips.

 

“I ordered the finest from Switzerland, just for you, love,” Oswald said, gently feeding him the dessert before licking his own fingers. He waited just long enough for Edward to swallow before leaning in to kiss him. When he pulled back, he winked, “Delicious.”

 

Edward felt himself blush, knowing they were still in full view of all his colleagues. Let them doubt him now, he silently gloated.

 

“Driver! Onward,” Oswald turned away to order, and Edward took the opportunity to tuck himself into his shoulder.

 

“Well, Ed? What do you think?”

 

“It’s perfect,” he sighed, content.

 

Oswald buried a hand in his hair, scratching lightly, “Good. I don’t have much of a plan from here. Just chocolates, maybe some wine, and riding around the old town for as long as we want.”

 

“Thank you,” Edward said, snuggling closer to Oswald, humming each time he felt the fingers moving across his scalp.

 

“I should be thanking you, after the stunt you pulled yesterday. My plans for Gotham are being moved up nearly a year thanks to you.”

 

“It was nothing.”

 

“Ed. You put yourself at risk for me. That’s not nothing!”

 

“Hmm.”

 

“It’s not,” Oswald repeated, pulling him all the closer.

 

Edward didn’t complain.

 

~         ~         ~

 

With a little wine and a lot of chocolate in their systems, both Oswald and Edward found themselves more active, getting braver with their touches, and laughing louder at each other’s comments on whatever happened to pass them by.

 

It was as they were laughing over some stupid joke they had already forgotten, that they passed the high-end clothing store. Oswald was especially fond of their work, but Edward had never been one for fashion, beyond anything ‘bright’ and ‘green’. But Oswald didn’t miss the too-long glance his partner gave to the piece in the window, the slight longing in his eyes, and it was at once the most important thing in the world that Edward should have it.

 

“Driver! Stop, please.”

 

Edward gave him a questioning look as Oswald stood.

 

“Follow me, darling.”

 

Edward followed him into the store, complying with Oswald’s command to wait in the changing room until he came back. He tapped his fingers idly, counting the number of squares in the large ceiling light, the number of slats in the door, the –

 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, love,” Oswald entered the room, holding out a plastic bag, “It’s already paid for, so maybe you could wear it on the way home?”

 

He raised an eyebrow, tentatively accepting the package before looking inside. He let out a gasp, eyes wide as the plastic fell away to reveal the luxurious pink material.

 

“You – you - ?”

 

“I saw you looking at it, and if I have anything to say about, anything you want you shall have.”

 

Edward bit his lip and flung his arms around the other man.

 

“Thank you so much.”

 

“Please, this is practically a gift to myself, after all.”

 

He smirked at Edward’s blush before shoeing him back into the stall, “Go! Try it on.”

 

Edward hurried to do as he was told, changing in record time. The fabric was indecently sheer, so he kept the last layer of his clothes on before donning the gown, carefully folding the rest of his suit and carrying it out of the stall.

 

Oswald’s jaw actually dropped at the sight of him, and Edward immediately found himself with the man’s iron grip around his arm, being bodily dragged from the store.

 

“Oswald? What - ?” he was all but lifted into the sleigh, Oswald jumping up behind him and snapping at the driver to return them home ‘with haste’.

 

“Oswald? Is something wrong?”

 

“Did you get a look at yourself in that?”

 

“No…? Is something wrong with it? Do you think it looks bad on me?” he peered down at himself, trying to discern the issue. In all honesty, it made him feel… spoiled. Doted upon. He quite liked the feeling.

 

“On the contrary,” Oswald swallowed, “It looks _amazing_ on you, and the faster we get home, the faster I can show you just _how_ amazing…”

 

“Oh. _Oh_ ,” Edward blinked, “So you’re saying I’m… sexy?”

 

“ _Yes_ ,” Oswald replied emphatically.

 

“Huh,” was all Edward could think to say to that, peering up at the star-flecked night sky in consideration, “You learn something new every day.”

**Author's Note:**

> http://singtheskyandfightlikehell.tumblr.com/post/170128992618/catsaresocuteicanteven-you-walk-out-in-the-pink
> 
> Oswald bought him the one on the left.


End file.
